Sometimes we forget that our Bibles are in a different language than the original writings, and as such are sometimes not perfect examples of the original. One discrepancy that stands out in 1 Tim. 3 is that in English it sounds like everything is being addressed to men. This is because the use of the word 'man' used to refer both to men and women as well as only to men. Today it is used this way less and some Bibles are outdated in still using the word 'man' as a default. Also, often the word 'man' is inserted because in English it doesn't seem to read naturally without it, even though in the original there is no such word because the sentence is meant inclusively.
In 1 Tim. 3, the whole chapter and all the examples are used inclusively toward anyone, except for the one part in verse 2 (the idiom 'one woman man', which is an inclusive idiom) and in verse twelve where it is addressed specifically toward women. Some translate gune as wives in vs. 12 but that is purely interpretive (and erroneously in this instance) because the word gune is used simply for women regardless of their marital status. So it can be used for wife as well. But technically it means women. Those who want to maintain an attitude of male dominance in the church want to hold all ministry of importance for men, and therefore they will try to maintain that vs 12 is for deacons' wives, not women deacons. But then they must contend with Romans 16 where Phoebe is a deacon of the church of Cenchrea.
In cases like that it helps to apply the whole Bible. We can see throughout the Old Testament that God used women as prophets, a Judge, and in other important ways. To this day Esther has a special day of celebration among Jews because her wisdom and obedience to God saved the nation of Israel. In the OT the Prophet of the nation was the most authoritative and responsible position of influence. The Judge of the nation and the High Priest were the next most responsible and authoritative ministries. Deborah was both Prophet of the era and Judge of the Nation. When we start to quibble about who can do what we tend to put words in God's mouth that He never said. The fact that there are more men used in highly responsible callings does not mean God does not want to use women or that women shouldn't be used. Women were always simply less available because of their life responsibilities. The same is true today. Most wives have little time and energy left for other pursuits because of duties of family. Those who do have the time and energy, like Deborah who was both wife and mother, should be gladly received.
NOTE: It is unfortunate, but it is not easy for the average reader today to see whether the greek has been accurately conveyed regarding the use of "man" in the Bible. If one keeps in mind that up until the last 40-50 years, the word 'man' was used interchangeably for men and for men and women, it helps a lot.